A Deadpool Movie Review …by Deadpool

A Deadpool Movie Review …by Deadpool

February 13, 2016 2 By Gary

Deadpool stars the sort of handsome Ryan Reynolds (if you’re into that, and…I definitely am) as me, Deadpool, the ‘merc with the Mouth.

They wouldn’t let me play myself because, and I quote, “there isn’t enough makeup in the world to make you even half as handsome as Ryan Reynolds, ‘pool.” Ouchie! Swords and knives may take men’s lives, but insults make me quippy!

(Now this next part may contain spoilers for my movie, but it’s really nothing you haven’t seen in a trailer. But you’ve been waaaaaaarnneedd….OOoOooooooo)

Anyways, the film is basically about this guy named Wade Wilson (who’s totally awesome and a bad mofo, but with mostly a good heart and a pretty excellent sense of comic timing). Blah blah blah, stuff happens, but then he falls in love with Vanessa. They’re “the same kind of crazy,” and complete each other. (And she is kind of a freak in all the best ways, which I totally dig.)

But, as these things go, such happiness isn’t easy, and I’m-I mean…Wade Wilson, is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Most people go quietly into the night at this point (but not me of course, because I never stop talking; unless for some reason my lips get sewn shut, but I promised never to talk about that again once they gave me my own movie) but Wade is met by a secretive agent from a secretive agency.

“We can fix you,” he’s told. “We can make you better.”

Reluctantly, hoping to cure himself so he can be with Vanessa, Wade is subjected to torture to unlock his “mutant” genes (yes, it’s a Fox movie, we’re allowed to say mutant!)

Naturally, it works. He’s given a healing factor (like Wolverine) but the process scars his entire body and makes him painful to look at. I mean, I think he still looks kinda handsome even when he’s all 3rd degree burn victim guy, but I’m not biased. (I will totally find anyone who says I’m biased and maybe stab them.)

The Cast

I’m hot, you’re hot…let’s do this.

Ryan Reynolds is the perfect choice to play me, Deadpool. As I said before, he’s not *quite* as handsome as I am, however his wit and sharp ability to deliver my patented one-liners is magical; like David Copperfield, magical.

He’s not quite as muscular as I am, but that’s something he can work on for Deadpool 2, which I’m calling Shallow End of the Gene Pool. Deadpool 2: Shallow End of the Gene Pool, you heard it here first!

His fight scenes with Ajax were incredible, their physical chemistry (hubba hubba!) is excellent; they have a rhythm that makes their back and forth very fun to watch.

The gorgeous Morena Baccarin, surprised me; in a good way. Her ability to sling one-liners opposite Ryan Reynolds was impressive. She was clearly his equal, which made the interplay between the two of them fun to watch. (And by “interplay” I ACTUALLY mean inter-…uh…play…)

She was an inspired casting choice; already a fan favourite at conventions for her role in Firefly, her convention dominance is assured with this film.

Ed Skrein plays  the villain Ajax. And while there’s many superlatives that I, as Deadpool, can levy at Ajax (because he is just the worst. I’ve had cold sores I’ve preferred), Ed Skrein did a fine job of playing him.

His casually dismissive attitude to most everything was perfect, given his mutant (hah! I love saying mutant. Mutant, mutant, mutant! I feel so free, it’s like I’m riding commando in a convertible!) ability to feel no pain.

Also standing out were Brianna Hildebrand as Negasonic Teenage Warhead (seriously if I had a million years, I could not come up with a cooler superhero name), Gina Carano as Angeldust who could’ve easily been played as a one note character, but was given some depth, and T.J. Miller as Weasel.

Hah. I’m also totally in love with Dopinder, played by Karan Soni. He’s the cab-driver who befriends me- I mean Deadpool. He unexpectedly steals both of the scenes he’s in; I hope he makes the cut and appears in the sequel! Either way, I’m taking him out for gelato.

We're on our way to get Gelato!

We’re on our way to get Gelato!

[image via cinemito]


This was Director Tim Miller’s first film…and it doesn’t show. His command of both the action sequences, and character interaction is strong, and the film is very well-paced, clocking in an efficient, but not too short (size totally matters) one hour and forty-eight minutes.

Deadpool was budgeted at a modest $58 million, but it was well-used. Given they probably spent $57.5 million on Ryan Reynolds (I would’ve been soooooo much cheaper), they had like five hundred bucks for everything else, so it looked great. The set pieces were exciting, the effects were high quality, and you never felt like you were watching anything but a blockbuster.

Making effective use of a limited budget this time, means Tim Miller will probably get a bigger (again, more bigger = more better) budget to play with next time, allowing writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick a bigger sandbox to play in.


Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick were the perfect writers for the project; while there were a ton of in-jokes that comic, and comic-movie fans, would get, you didn’t need to be a big fan to appreciate the comedy.

It had a broad appeal, which frankly I wasn’t expecting. (It’s already made $47.5, the largest ever domestic opening day for an R rated movie.)

They were able to capture my many charms (and by charms, I don’t mean Ryan Reynolds’ butt) which is no surprise, given their previous success writing Zombieland.

They also did an amusing AMA session on reddit where they talked about the process of making the film and a whole bunch of other random junk too, which you should check it out if you don’t mind seeing how the chimichangas are made.

You go, me!

You go, me!

[img via comicbookmovie.com]

Me…I mean, Deadpool, was a great flick. The marketing did an excellent job of showing everyone what the movie was about and why they`d like it, the actors did their thing turning the writing into action, and the director kept it all together. Even the well-selected soundtrack evokes memories of Guardians of the Galaxy, which almost used music as a character in and of itself.

I’m glad the fans rewarded Fox’s “gamble” (I put it in quotes because I’m not a gamble; I’m a sure thing. And not just on prom night, either!) with big dough.

If you’re a fan of comic book movies, you should like Deadpool; if you’re a fan of comedies, you should like Deadpool; if you’re a fan of family films like Old Yeller or the Brave Little Toaster, you should like Deadpool…but you won’t.

I’m a great movie. You should totally see me.


This is a comedic interpretation of a Deadpool movie review. No real threats or offense are intended.

Tl;dr: Deadpool is all the awesome you’re expecting, and more.