Geek Life
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Should You Date a Geek Guy?

by on February 7, 2014
 

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Are you looking for love in Alderaan places?

As a single and proud geek, I often wonder if women really know what geeks and nerds have to offer when it comes to relationships. In the past, geeks and nerds have always been the butt of jokes and depicted in film and television as being covered in zits, living in their parents basement at 35, and never going anywhere without their trusty pocket protector. Just watch any Revenge of the Nerds movie to prove my point.

But, in the recent years we have been seeing the geeks crawling out from the basements and into the spotlights. Nerdy TV shows like Big Bang Theory rule the ratings and Comic Book-to-film adaptations are breaking box office records left, right and center. Even cosplaying is become mainstream and getting in on the action with the Sy-Fy original series Heroes of Cosplay. It is now obvious that it is no longer the meek, but in fact, the geek that shall inherit the Earth.

So why should women start looking for dates at comic book stores, conventions or Avengers tie-in movie premieres? I have come up with some solid reasons why the man of your dreams may be the nerdy guy across from you reading the newest issue of Superman. I didn’t do all the work alone though. I asked some women their opinion on the benefits of dating a geek guy and got some great responses to come up with these reasons. Without further ado, here they are.

We’re compassionate

For the most part, a lot of us spent our childhood being bullied, made the butt of every joke and embarrassed on a daily basis. Typically now those bullied geeks have grown, changed, but haven’t forgotten those feelings. Geek/nerd guys who were bullied as children are more receptive to others emotions and very understanding of problems.

“Nerd guys are usually nicer. They are more fun. They think inside the box… because nerds know
it’s bigger on the inside!”
– Lauren E.

Non-judgmental

We have been outcasts for near-all our lives and we know how it feels to be judged and cast aside because we are “different”. We don’t judge people for what they love, or what they love doing. We accept everyone as they are.

I see this often in cosplaying. Granted, a lot of the time you have those who mock us for dressing up as Han Solo or Spider-Man or worse are the people who try to tell us what to wear based on our weight or skin tone. But for the most part, a true geek sees past that and sees the passion, time and craftsmanship that went into the costume or prop.

“For the most part they (geek/nerd guys) are very understanding and they are not judgmental. They
are caring.”
– Kat M.

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Committed

You can’t deny a geeks commitment to everything in their lives. We obsess, it’s what we do. Whether it be obsessing over a movie franchise, video games, comic book series or television show. Geeks go all out. We live it, we breathe it. In my opinion, to even qualify as a geek you need to have something so important to you that it becomes an obsession.

We bring that same commitment to everything in our lives, including relationships. Geeks don’t usually stray or cheat. With geeks, our level of loyalty goes to infinity and beyond. (I had to throw that in)

“I guess a pro to a geek is they may appreciate you more. Not being into the club scene and be attention seeking of other girls.”
– Michelle C.

Successful

This one doesn’t need much explanation. Just look at the likes of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg. These are geeks/nerds that turned their passions into multi-billion dollar empires. So don’t dismiss all those quirky ideas and seemingly preposterous inventions the nerd in your life may have. You just never know what will be the next big innovation.

Creative

Video games, comic books, superhero movies, television shows. It doesn’t matter where you look nowadays; a geek/nerd most likely had a big part in creating it. We have extraordinary imaginations that we could never lock up and are never short on great ideas.

We are writers, artists, and costume makers. We can draw, build things, sew and some rare geek guys can even knit (mainly because we want to make Jayne’s hat from Firefly or the iconic scarf from Doctor Who). Nerds go all out. If we need to get something done that we don’t know how to do, we’ll learn. We are Jacks of all geek trades.

“We literally never shut up because we have so much in common!”
– Teri W.

Good in Bed

Fact. No, I’m serious. Combine everything I just mentioned. Our compassion, commitment and creativity can all be brought into the bedroom. The cliché being, of course, that we don’t get much action. And that may be true for some and far from the truth for others. But either way, geeks go all out in all aspects of their lives. We aim for perfection in everything and want to be the best at it. That includes the bedroom. Once you go geek, that’s all you will seek.

So if you are tired of dating the same old type of guy who cares more about his 6-pack then he does you, then look to these reasons to why the geek sitting next to you in the theater, watching The Hobbit, just might be the prince you’ve been looking for all this time. Find a guy wearing a “Frack off” shirt, opposed to an Ed Hardy shirt. You never know, he could be the Han to your Leia, the Joker to your Harley Quinn or the Mario to your Peach.

Special thank you to Meg Turney, Michelle C, Teri W, Kat M and Lauren E for your contributions to this article.

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  • Jackson
    February 11, 2014 at 12:17 am

    I’m not sure how much I actually agree with this article. I’m not completely denying there being truth within what you say, but I can’t say that this is true for all geek guys.

    Compassion – This certainly varies from person to person and definitely ties into
    the non-judgmental portion I’ll comment on next. True, I’ve met a lot of
    geekier people that do show compassion, but this isn’t always the case.
    It’s a matter of a person’s being and how they view others. I’ve met more than
    a few geeks that have been complete dicks and have grown up to feel that they
    are superior in most ways than other people. Which has lead them to be very…

    Judgmental – This was actually the part of the article that I disagreed with
    most, and lead me to write this somewhat of a rant. I’ve found recently that
    this is one of the biggest issues that is commonly argued about within geek
    society. While again this does not apply to all, it is a common that the
    “Fake Geek” insult is used from one person to another. It feels like
    after years of being seen as a less desired social caste that now as geekdom is
    coming into such a light, that there are those that try to segregate being a
    geek again. We’ve been dismissed so much in our lives that judgement is passed
    on those around us. This judgment is passed on those that have been geeks for
    their entire lives, but apparently more so those that may not have grown up a
    geek but show a genuine desire in our common interests. I know this as I also
    sadly admit that I have passed judgement on others before, feeling they only
    claimed a geek title because it was/is the cool thing. One person may not be as
    judgmental as the next, but non-judgmental is not something I can claim all
    geeks are.

    Committed – This I feel is another point that varies from person to person.
    Just because I hold many things in my life in high regard and remain committed
    to them, romantic relationships are one thing I myself am terribly afraid
    to commit to. I’m not saying I’m one to go out and about trying to sleep with
    anyone I meet and ruin anything I may have going for me. But that’s not to say
    that I’m ready to put forth myself into a dedicated relationship. I fear a lot
    of aspects that come with being in a relationship that holds me back. But as I
    said that this varies from person to person, this is my situation. Staying up
    to date on my Batman comics to me is completely different that putting forth my
    willingness to be with another person. (I also realize that writing all of that
    may make me out to sound like quite a terrible person.)

    Successful – Although this is a true point, I don’t feel the examples you gave
    should be the reason why someone dates a geek. Everyone wants to be successful,
    but money isn’t the way one should gauge the success of the person they seek.
    There are a lot of geeks out there that have been successful just based on
    their own passion and love for what they do. They wish to share the things
    they’ve created, even if it doesn’t make them the richest people in the world.

    Creative – I’ve actually got nothing against this point, it’s been true in
    every geek I’ve seen.

    Good in Bed – I’m not going to go much into this topic as it is again something
    I feel varies from person to person, and the way a couple responds and acts
    with each other. This is something that comes from experience and more so I
    find communication.

    I’m not saying one shouldn’t be proud to be a geek, or shouldn’t
    desire to be with another geek. But I feel this article is constructed on a
    good deal of half truths and generalizations. Don’t look for a geek solely because
    of the points made here. Look for someone, geek or not, because you enjoy the
    company, conversation, and feelings you have for that person.

    Reply

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